did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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