wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
