you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
