he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
