To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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