I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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