I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
either way he was missing a nipple.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize