Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
