Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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