My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
