Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
