Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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