Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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