I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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