did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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