And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
