areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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