your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
