I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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