But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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