Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
