She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
