I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
