I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
