Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
