I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
