a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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