Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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