where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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