i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
