Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
