You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize