you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
