i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i've created a new STD.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
