Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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