Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
