would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
