if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you had me at cake vodka
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
