So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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