this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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