just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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