pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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