I just saw a hot homeless man
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
