sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
