What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
