I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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