Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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