So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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