I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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