Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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