OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
