i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
