I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
