He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
