I'm really into asian looking animals
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
