Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
