She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
