he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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