did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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