so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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