i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
