hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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